Potential future wedding vows:
I may not always be able to grasp the complexities of the world, but I will totally always grasp your butt. No matter how hard life gets, I promise I will always get harder. 1v1 me bro. I promise to love you even when you’re fat and ugly. I just can’t promise I won’t also love other people. One ring to rule them all. Baby, baby, baby, baby, nooooooo. You hate everyone just as...
diagondaley: buttgenie: i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens #especially those sarcastic witty teachers who have amazing comebacks but everyone is fucking moronic and not intelligent enough to understand the beauty of what theyre saying and i get so upset
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
jimbertimber: coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the...– Chuch Palahniuk (via hellanne)
at least when you are hanging out with yourself, you get to pick the music
himchanspenus: Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
potential-and-difference: prop-215: dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them? How stoned are you right now? Was that a fucking pun?